One thing I read while researching comic books, and writing in general, is that you need good villains. You NEED strong, smart, and talented villains. Superman is stale because the only thing that could stop him is kryptonite and Lex Luther. He hasn’t had anything else. When you give a guy all the powers in the world, he’s going to be boring. Alan Moore rocked it with Dr. Manhattan, but even he was on the verge of boring. The REAL reason Batman is awesome? He’s got the coolest villains. He’s got the coolest bad guys. The Joker, Catwoman, the Penguin, all the crime bosses of the city. Having your superhero beat villain after villain is one thing. Make those villains cooler than your superhero, then people will LOVE your superhero.

So here’s my thought: The WWE has too many faces.

Randy Orton would be a better heel than a face. Ryback, Roman Reigns would be better heels than faces. Really, as far as I can tell, the only CONVINCING heels the WWE has are Bray Wyatt and the Authority. The Ascension? They were written as jokes. They come in and insult a dead tag team. Tacky. Lame. What other heel tag team does the WWE have? Oh, that’s right. Zero. Or maybe Rowan and Harper. Sheamus doesn’t convince me as a heel. Y’know why? He acts exactly like he did as a face, but he got a haircut and now he has somebody braid his beard. Other than that? What does he do? The spread arms while shouting, ‘Are you not entertained?!’ Give me a break. I don’t boo you because you’re a good heel. I boo you because you’re fucking stupid.

Oh, the New Day. They’re heels, right? Well not until about three weeks ago. Their debut up until about three weeks ago, I could’ve SWORN the writers thought they had the next big thing. The next big face faction, after breaking up the Shield. And then, after they realized everybody was booing the New Day, they thought, ‘Hey, maybe we could make them… GASP, HEELS?!’ Brilliant.

Corporate Kane is just a big guy in a suit. And what sucks about this is he cannot be a villain ever again. He can’t play the role. He’s just a big doofus in a suit. If they gave him back his mask, the fans would cheer like Hell froze over. The WWE wrote themselves into a hole with this one. Kane will never be the scary masked psycho he once was. It just won’t happen. They turned him into a joke and in the process ruined his character.

The Big Show? God. Same character as when he first came into the WWE as Vince McMahon’s puppet.

These are not genuine heels. They are jokes.

So: My solution? Well, first off all keep Dean Ambrose face. Secondly anybody who isn’t *DOING IT* as a face should be turned heel. Randy Orton, Ryback, Roman Reigns… Tag teams? I’m sick of the Usos. They don’t do it for me. The Lucha Dragons are honestly about the only face tag team you need. Well, them and Cesaro and Tyson Kidd. Ascension, Los Matadors, they should be heels. Actually I forgot the Prime Time Players. It’s a toss up between Cesaro and Kidd and the Prime Time Players. One team should be a heel, one a face. But Los Matadors? NOBODY buys a Los Matadors shirt. Nobody. Usos? Some kids chant and buy their shit. But really, not enough. Those two tag teams should honestly team up, and make a faction, almost like Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg did back in the day. One came up to the other and basically said, ‘Look, we’re both jobbers. They hate us. Why don’t we unite? Why don’t we join forces?’ Shit. Turning the Usos and the Matadors heel, and having them just lay waste to anyone who crosses their path could be interesting. Or bring in the Usos after they heal, and team them with Naomi and Tamina.

But that really wasn’t my big solution. That was a tangent. My big idea would be to bring in Erick Rowan and Luke Harper and have them beat the SHIT out of the New Day. That’d completely turn Rowan and Harper into huge faces. Have the New Day steal win after win after win after win. Then one day Rowan and Harper come out and just lay waste. The WWE Universe would erupt.

It’d honestly be brilliant. Silence is golden. Have the Ascension start cutting those lame promos again where they bash dead tag team wrestlers (Owen Hart, anyone?), only to be cut off by Rowan and Harper walking in and beating them up. Silence is golden. Eventually the New Day cuts a long boring promo, only to be interrupted by Rowan and Harper, who proceed to beat the three of them down. Rowan and Harper could be the new anti-hero of the tag team division.