I like the way the show opened. So far Kevin Owens and John Cena have pretty good chemistry on the mike. I also like Neville coming in and going after Owens, rather than Cena. I figured that’s what would’ve happened.

My biggest problem with setting Owens up to be the next big heel is how this all makes Rusev look. Lana ditching Rusev coupled with Rusev’s three straight PPV losses to Cena are enough to make Rusev out to be a broken man. And now having an NXT heel come in and lay waste to Cena, ugh. It just makes Rusev look pathetic. They need to have Owens continue to win. I just hate the circumstances and timing of it all. It only hurts Rusev in the long run. Luckily he’s hurt, so maybe that’ll let us forget all of this by the time he comes back.

I feel like after putting Neville into a handful of matches with high level, main event guys, I think they’ll start putting him where he should be: Either the US or IC title contention. I personally could see the IC belt on him and think that’d make a lot of sense, but you’d think his first belt would be the US. But he’s not taking it from Cena. This whole Cena US invitational is really interesting. Who’s going to win it eventually? Brock Lesnar?

I could see Owens taking to Cena, Cena never really winning cleanly, and after dropping the NXT title, Owens moves on to other things. I could potentially see a big newcomer face (Neville, or somebody else called up from NXT… Samoa Joe makes sense) come and face Cena in a string of matches. Maybe loses the first two, and finally Cena gives him a final match at a PPV, where Cena would lose straight. That’d put somebody over huge. Maybe Finn Balor.

I personally almost hate Cena being US champ. I feel like every guy should start with the US belt. You don’t just skip it and jump up to the IC belt. This whole Cena bit is great, cause it’s definitely going to culminate with something big. It just puts the IC belt into this stale kind of limbo. Rybakc is the champ now, which is just sorta blah. They were gonna put it on Wade Barrett. It was on Daniel Bryan but he got hurt again. What is the role of the IC belt? Have Orton and Sheamus feud for it? Ugh. Just ugh. Cena as US champ and CONSTANTLY winning his title matches just puts kind of an afterthought on the Intercontinental title, which is not the POINT of that belt. The point of that belt is it’s that final step before one goes on to conquer the big games. Bret ‘the Hitman’ Hart, Shawn Michaels, the Ultimate Warrior. It’s that final step to the big time. A nice long IC title run.

And having Cena hold onto the US belt, it’s really going to help ONE guy an IMMENSE amount, but it doesn’t really help anybody else in the long run.

Where does Neville go from here? Maybe bring in another NXT face, have him try these big matches, neither guy really works out, so they decide to team up and go after the tag belts? I really don’t know. I feel like there’s too many wrestlers and not enough titles. And having Cena hold onto one forever doesn’t really help anybody.


The divas division. Ugh. Summer Rae and Nikki Bella? Wow, color me #EXCITED for this… This just in, Summer Rae can’t even properly hook a leg. Twice now. Grab a leg. Pull on it. Not that hard. I never think to time matches, and I can’t just look at my DVR for the minute count… But let me guess it as a nice boring four minutes. Close enough.

Now Reigns and Kane and Dolph are talking about something. The funny bit was when R Truth came out. That was worth rewinding and watching again, once I realized what was going on. A little humor never hurt anybody. So then Kane goes on talking again, and out comes the New Day. I actually dig them. Mainly because everyone else hates them. It’s so easy to be a heel if you play your cards right.

But as I was telling my girlfriend earlier, it’s also kinda tough. With Kevin Owens, he has to consciously try to get the people to boo him. Jump out of the ring at the start of a match, run away from the face. If you’re a heel and you’re just a GOOD damn wrestler, eventually the fans cheer you. Steve Austin, Jake Roberts, Razor Ramon. It happens to everybody. You have to REMIND the fans that you’re a heel. Sheamus can’t do it. Yelling, ‘Are you not satisfied?!’ isn’t being a good heel. It’s been an obnoxious dumb looking idiot.

‘–puts a smile on my face. A smile as big as the one when I bounced Randy Orton around the ring last Monday night on Raw.’ –Sheamus. See my webcomic strip, Just what the WWE needs. Heel or face, face or heel, Orton v. Sheamus is over done and drawn out. Stale. Annoying. Really? Again, tonight? Oh, wonderful, WWE. I can’t wait.

I swear, why do the fans *LOVE* Randy so much? Oh, I remember reading that the WWE was editing crowd reactions to make Randy seem more popular. The crowd just broke out into a HUGE ‘Randy! Randy! Randy!’ chant that sounded a bit much. Maybe that’s it. If fans don’t like your faces, just make them think they do. That’s all you gotta do. It’s so simple, really.

Randy Orton is like Edge, to a much less degree. Edge was a *GREAT* face, but as great as he was at being a face, he was just that much better at being a heel. Orton as a face is stale. Him as a heel actually works. If you’re not one of the top faces in your division, you should probably be a heel. If you’re not the Lucha Dragons or Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, you should probably be a heel tag team. I think it goes for everything. If you’re not one of the top two faces in the IC title contention, you should probably be a heel in order to help the top two faces look good.

It goes back to my previous post about all of Batman’s villains. You can never have too MANY villains. A great villain can only make one of your top faces look better. And having more villains than faces, even a few that are sub-par, it makes your faces look like they can overcome adverse odds. It makes them look like underdogs who can pull it off. And that only makes fans cheer you more. The *ONLY* face that the WWE should have OTHER than the top two tag teams, the top two IC, US, and World title competitors should be Zack Ryder, or anybody else in a similar vein. When Bayley comes up to the main roster, she’d be a great third diva face. And I’m kind of exaggerating here. I know two faces per division is a bit low. But the OTHER faces shouldn’t be in that division. You can have Summer Rae, but she’s just here to make the Bellas or Naomi look good. She’s not a true top two face. Just a feeder. Like Fandango or R Truth at the moment.

So after seven minutes of Randy beating up Sheamus after the disqualification, and after the ten minute long match that didn’t even matter (DQ), now we’re…. Uhh, Kane versus Dolph. I swear you can’t start Raw until 10:00pm. If you start too far before that, you’ll be bored more than half the time. I could’ve easily fast forwarded through that whole Randy Sheamus thing. Hindsight is pretty good. I probably should have. Ugh. I swear wrestling isn’t as fun as it used to be.

After Orton celebrates, we cut to Seth Rollins on his cell, probably texting pictures of his penis to his fangirls. Maybe fanbois (see the ‘i’ there?). J&J come out and Jamie says they forgive Seth and they’d be glad to back up Seth tonight, and whenever. Seth says he brought them back up because he felt sorry for them. Great work by Jamie, when he says, ‘SCREW YOU, BOSS! We’re Shield 2.0! He’s an upgraded Roman Reigns, I’m a better Ambrose than Dean, and you’re the architect! You’re gonna turn on us just like you did the Shield!’ Great writing here.

Seth says the Authority gave him the authority to pick out his own opponents tonight, so he picks out J&J Security, when things get physical. Seth slaps Jamie, Jamie slaps him back, and Joey steps in, yelling. It ends with Joey saying, ‘Hey! You think we’re a couple of jokes?! We’re not, we’ve had your back since day one. Tonight, we’re kicking your ass.’

Now the fans are chanting ‘We want Lana!’ even though she’s out here standing on the ramp. Oh, that’s right. We’re in New Orleans, where human beings tend to struggle with the meaning of certain English words.

Another commercial. One part of me is bored, and the other part wants to stab my right eye ball with a mechanical pencil.

I’ve got a webcomic buffer up until June 18th. I also have to now find a part time job. So I can’t tell if I’ll be able to make up a big enough buffer to hold me over for the next few months, or once I find a job, I’ll have to drop down to two days a week for the webcomic, probably Tuesdays and Thursdays. I can’t tell yet.

Oh, Rusev is out with his crutches. Interest piqued a bit here. God, Lana’s slit skirt is about a half inch from her naughty bits. Or is it just the angle? Or the television set? Or my imagination?

Oh dear, Lana slipped off the edge of a ramp, for a catastrophic fall of, maybe eight inches, and OH NO, her ankle is hurt. About six refs are out looking at her foot. Maybe they have a fetish for feet. I mean all we needed was one, right? Just one foot specialist?

Rusev is smiling and laughing and speaking in a language I don’t think I’m too familiar with (maybe ebonics) while he’s looking at Lana and the refs tending to her big toe.

Geeze, now Dolph AND the cameraman are checking on Lana. SO many foot fetishes (or fetishers?) in the WWE. Wow. Even the cameraman is asking, ‘Is she okay? Is she okay?’ (Shouldn’t he have been asking, instead, ‘Is her foot okay? Is her foot okay?’ I dunno.)

Cut to the commentators, and an idiot behind them holding up a ‘FEED ME MORE’ sign, which reminds me of a sign I saw at the beginning of the show: FEED ME SMORES!

At least some of us have a sense of humor.

They’ve had a bunch of random Dean Ambrose pictures going on all night of Dean rocking the WWE title in New Orleans. Riding a bull, playing a brass instrument, showing his tits for beads, all that kind of thing. Mildly entertaining.

So I *think* we’re at about an hour left and I need more drink. #Feed me more. Or drink isn’t feed? #Drink me more? Or #Feed me more drink? #Quench my thirst more with alcoholic beverages, maybe? Hmph.

Cut to Jamie and Joey pumping themselves up for their match against Seth Rollins tonight. I loved them both as Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. Sigh. What’s going to happen?

Another ad for Swerved. Sigh. Another cheap rip-off. Come up with something NEW for the Network, EH WWE? Geeze.

Don’t know how this new Tough Enough is going to be.

Cut to the back with a guy icing Lana’s ankle, as she reaches down to grab her toes… I dunno, to inspect the toe nail polish? Mr. Ziggler is concerned. He even puts his long sleeved shirt around her shoulders.

Miz TV. With that hood and his sleeves pulled down to his ass, he almost looks like Bam Margera from Jackass. Hmph. The director of Jackass meets up with the WWE to create, gasp, SWERVED! TOON IN YOU GUYZ!

Rybakc came out and gave an early, ‘BAAHH!’ while leaning back, but I think that threw him off on his ‘Feed me more’ chants, so he cut it off early, for a quick sheep’s sound. Now he’s back with the music, ready for a ‘MOOOORE!!!! Wake up! It’s feeding time!’ AGAIN, Rybakc? Really? How many calories do you get in a day? Keep it up, and when your metabolism is shot, you’re just gonna get fat.

God, listening to Rybakc talk is kinda like listening to nails on a chalk board. Now he brings up Damien Sandow, and how Damien was better than the Miz in every respect. I feel like Rybakc doesn’t know how to cut promos or talk, so the writers hold him by the hand.

MIZ: Can I be blunt with you? You’re ugly. (laughs) You have no idea the value of having a good looking face. None of these people understand the value of having a good look–

RYBAKC: Do you think the Miz has a good looking face?

MIZ: When my hand goes up, your mouth goes shut.

Hilarious. Rybakc, ‘When my hand goes up, you say Feed Me More!’ Really? Miz can deliver a promo. Rybakc can’t. As simple as that. Rybakc as IC champ, REALLY?! This won’t last for long. Count on it. Maybe Big E winning it back? That’d be interesting.

Big Show’s out. Time to tune out? I think the only reason Big Show is challenging Rybakc is for Rybakc to do his end move onto Big Show and get the crowd behind him. Are they playing ‘Feed Me More’ chants through the audio system now? I can’t tell. It doesn’t sound too high pitched, as though all the kids are chanting it. I dunno. It’ll be a short feud and all it’s gonna do is try to get Rybakc more over. Blah.

Wait, I just called it and it happened the same night? Seriously, WWE? You’re *THAT* predictable? Rybakc with the Shell Shock onto the Big Show. Having two or three PPV’s a month doesn’t help ANYBODY, WWE. Realize that. Understand that. Ending a PPV one week, then building the next PPV the next week? Seriously? Just make a monthly WWE Network special. Twice a month? No. Come on. The more PPV’s you have, the shittier the majority of them will be. Tonight explains that. You tease Rybakc having the strength to lift up the Big Show tonight, so he does. Now next week we’ll tune in to the PPV, then that thread, that storyline will be over. Then what? Really? ONE PPV A MONTH, you idiots. Two PPV’s a month won’t equate to more subscribers. 2 PPV’s a month means they’re half as good as they could have been, which means they’re about a third as good as the worst Wrestlemania. What does having 2 monthly PPV’s do? It weakens Raw. You don’t have a ‘go home’ edition of Raw twice a month. You have 3 set up Raws, and 4 shit Smackdowns. It does NOTHING for the business. Sigh.

Eventually RAW will be WWE Network only, along with one monthly PPV. The only shit we get to see? Smackdown and some other bullshit. Not the way to go.

Los Matadores. Harper and Rowan coming out. Oolala. I thought, why break up the Wyatts if Bray fights on his own anyway? They turn Rowan face for a few months, then realize, why did we break them up? So now the two are back together, without Bray.

I felt like they broke them up too early, and I called it about a month ago, that I thought they’d team them up again. Give them a tag team title run. It ups Luke to the IC title level, and it gives Rowan the bit of experience that he may or may not need. Them together for another year only helps them both. And it helps the tag team division.

Rowan and Harper win, with the Dudley Death Drop, erm… As JBL puts it, ‘The Way.’ I guess I don’t totally get it. Were the fans actually chanting, ‘We want tables?’ Sure they were.

Luke gets a mike: Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. The time to pay for your sins is coming. The judgement is waiting at your door.

Rowan: It’s okay to be afraid. You should be.

I could’ve sworn Harper was better at talking. It felt kind of over-done.

Wait, Seth Rollins in the back, while Kane comes up to him with his cell phone, laughing?! Did Seth accidentally send pictures of his dick to KANE?! Oh, no, no no. Kane’s talking about how Dean Ambrose has been all over New Orleans. My bad. That’s my bad, you guys.

So instead Kane and Seth talk about something presumably stupid. I didn’t pay much attention.

Does it sound better as ‘Seth and Kane?’ Maybe? Meh.

It’s sweet that the New Day has a main event here with Roman Reigns. That’s cool.